"Celebration Of Me..."

58 percent of Americans think that New Orleans should not be rebulit...

If you think that those 58 percent of Americans can go fuck themselves, repost this.

NEW ORLEANS = LIFE

i have had the opportunity to meet a man via an online dating site. we have been chatting for about a month, and have spoken on the phone for about a week. he seems to be perfect and his perfection exists on all levels, but that could just be my rose-colored glasses...

mind...
he has mastered the concoction of street wise hustler with professional ex-military family man, and is comfortable with either. he is full of interesting stories about his life, family, friends... and i can hear his smile when he speaks of his mother. he possesses a dry and sarcastic humor, but consistently maintains a significant level of sensitivity.

body...
i haven't seen him. he says that he is 6' tall and 260lbs., dark skin and muscular. he said the one compliment his mother would always give him was about his beautiful smile, and his sister told him he had pretty teeth. he was an athlete, and is still somewhat active. what else can a woman (physically) ask for in a man?

soul...
he has 3 daughters, only one is biologically his. he loves, cares about, provides for, and spoils all of them. he is the youngest of 10, but upholds the responsibilities of the oldest child without hesitation. he is mentor and friend to the many neices and nephews of the family. he believes in treating women as he would want any man to treat his mother, sister, daughter, neice... with respect, honesty, and love.

spirit...
let's just say i told him that i was a practitioner of the craft, and he simply said, "tell me more...". he has not chosen one religion, but instead pulls from several in order to maintain a spiritual balance in his life. we are very similar spiritually, and i appreciate his willingness to learn about other paths besides society's conventional religions.

he has stated several times that he is here for me in whatever capacity i need and want him, and that he wants to share his world with me. he will be in houston with me for yule and the new year. we will see what happens...

well, needless to say...
the holiday season is among us, and the retail craziness has started! my staff and i have had a great start on all levels and i forsee a very successful 4th quarter. and i am not just talking about the money... i really appreciate my staff and i think that we mesh very well. our energies are in sync, so the atmosphere in the store is amazing... now parking is another story.

on a more personal view of the holiday season...
my roommate and i are on the way to arlington, texas to visit my mom for thanksgiving. my sister and brother will also be there, and of course extended family. but my immediate family has not gathered together since before katrina... and this will truly be a celebration of family.

on an even more personal note...
i have a few people in my life that are showing genuine interest in getting to know me. i am genuinely interested in getting to know them. it's three of them, and i met all of them on the internet. there is one, however, that i am truly fond of... but i am not sure if he exists, yet. the love of my life may very well still be in my dreams...lol.

well, sunday was the official start of our 9 week holiday season, and i have a lot to prove. i have a great team, and i believe that we are ready... i hope that we are, at least. i have so much on my plate, already and this is only the second day. so much nervous energy surrounds me because of the high expectations. i have a reputation for being successful and steadfast. i plan on maintaining it.

i had a scheduled conference call for yesterday with the other two store managers in houston. only one showed up for the call. out of a 2 hour meeting, she only wants to do a 5 minute speaking part. i don't know why i expected so much more from them... it will be a great meeting, though. i am the hostess of the party, for crying out loud!

so... i am buying a new car today. can't see myself investing anymore into my current car, though she has been so very good to me. i just need something a bit more reliable, even if i can't afford to do this right now.

off to work...

today will be a good day...

i will be productive at work and at home.
i will contribute to someone's happiness and well-being today.
i will inspire someone to genuinely smile...

today will be a good day.

so...
it's about 2:30am and i am restless.
i ate some mexican food that made me sick, so i threw up and crashed.

now i am up, and of course, i grab a beer and hop on my computer...
Hmm... the entire fucking sreen looks different.

everything has been customized to my new "roommate's" liking.
EVERYTHING...

now i am a nice person, but i am also a sagitarrian woman... the flames are roaring, now.

why am i pissed? lack of communication. if we had had a conversation about customizing the computer...
(eeh eeh eemmm... MY computer)
then i would have at least heard her side(FUN, SOCIAL, GAMES), and she would have heard mine(WORK, WORK, and IT'S MINE!).

as far as i am concerned, she is still a "guest" in my home, until 1/2 of the bills are no longer my responsibility. using "roommate" was for her comfort level because of what she had gone through wih katrina. i want her to feel welcome, but not at the expense of my comfort level!

but even if she was actually paying 1/2 of the bills, this is still MY computer that ALL of my work is done on.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!

finally an off day.

but that means very little as i wake up and realize that my work must continue for THE BODY SHOP and at home.

we were supposed to receive shipment on monday, tuesday, and wednesday. today is thursday, and still nothing... which in turn means that i have a half-empty store. whose fault? who cares! just get me my shit so that my team and i can do our jobs.

my house... junky. i am supposed to be moving everything out of my office for my new roommate, jennifer. she has nothing to go back to in new orleans, and i honestly believe she would have offered the same accommodations to me if the table was turned. i should be focused on "her room", but everything else needs to be cleaned, straightened, ... and i don't want to move all my shit out of my office.

looking forward to sunday, as usual.
beer, cigarettes, chicken & red beans, and football.

i have been feeling a bit "needy" lately, and have searched for companionship of sorts from different people and on different levels since my departure from my last relationship.

this "need" has brought into my life a few people that i could actually build meanigful relationships with, but because i am not purely focused on any particular one, i feel distant and unconnected to all of them, ...especially when no sex is involved, and even more so when it's JUST sex.

i find myself wanting pieces of who they are at times, and all of who they are at other times... ending with nothing from them at all.

i desire everything, and yet nothing at all... and so very disappointed when i get exactlly what i want.

here is another entry from my mom. for those of you not familiar with the people of slidell, la. allow me to introduce my mother. mary eunette pichon battle... and these are her words.

From: "Mary Battle"
Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2005 22:55:03 -0500>

Zeiger's assignment: Part I

Mes chers amis,

"Deh's lotsa bayous 'round yuh: Bayou Bonfouca, Bayou Paquet. Bayou Patassa, Bayou Lacombe, Bayou Liberte. . . . and, right yuh, Bayou Vincent. Bayou Vincent -- dat's ma home. Been livin' yuh toute mo la vie -- all ma life. . . . ." (Storyteller's intro from Sur le Bayou, a Creole play written & directed by Mary Eunette Pichon Battle, 2000.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the whole community of Bayou Vincent was innundated as a result of Hurricane Katrina. Many other parts of Slidell were flooded as well, but Bayou Vincent, "dat's ma home". I knew everybody there! I have no idea where most of the people are. My family is safe, but scattered. I have not seen my younger sister since I left town; she is a social worker and had to stay to help man a shelter for people with special needs. Five members of my family were affected. I got the worse of it because I live closer to the bayou. But my dad always said, "We live on high ground; we don't have to worry about flooding." He was right. Many of our cousins and friends would park their cars at our house because we lived on the "high grounds". Until Katrina, that is.

In my home there was almost five feet of water. I still cannot imagine; that means that the people closer to the bayou must have had ten to twelve feet of water. That's the whole house!!! I think a lot of the problem has to do with a growing city where lots of construction is going on and the drainage system has not kept up with the other "improvements". We've seen more flooding in the last ten years than ever before.

I understand that Katrina was very powerful, and I'm sure all of this devastation happened for a reason. So many people displaced; so many lives lost; so many people suffering; so many people hungry and thirsty; so many people stranded for days; so many law enforcement officers enforcing the wrong laws; so many bureaucrats sitting in their plush offices and ignoring American citizens suffering unnecessarily. Then, when these people break into stores to get something to eat/drink, they are "looters". So what if one or two of them took a TV or a VCR!!! They probably never had a new one in their lives. And, where were they going to plug them up? They took clothes out of necessity. Can you imagine keeping the same clothes on for three or four or five or six days after living in filth and chaos and no bathroom facilities and fear for your life and perspiration in the New Orleans summer heat and humidity? How can we, in our air-conditioned homes, offices and apartments, and our bellies full have the audacity to criticize those who are struggling for their lives? How can we sit back and not act immediately? "Oh, those po folks!" And we continue to do whatever it is that we do that is "so important"!!! Sorry, y'all. I got caught up in the moment. Started rambling!

(to be continued)

Love, Mary
Good night!

i thought that i would share with all of you what my mom has written thus far about the affects of katrina on her health, home, and city. she is a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend, a scholar... and as of this morning at about 9am she will retire as a teacher of english, french and spanish.

she is my shero...



“La Vie en Gris” (Part II)
by Mary Pichon Battle

Four days after Hurricane Katrina, as I drove from Breaux Bridge, LA, through parts of Mississippi, to Anniston, AL, I noticed what I thought were numerous trees and road signs downed by this powerful storm. Four days later, as I drove from Anniston to Dallas, again, there were visible traits announcing that some “woman on the rampage” had trampled by. But, ladies and gentlemen, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw Thursday, when I went back to Slidell, back to Bayou Vincent, for the first time since the storm.

My brother Mac had said, “It’s bad! It’s real bad!”
My brother Larry had said, “Don’t come home yet. You don’t need to see this!”
My brother Pat had said, “Wait a while until we clean away some of the debris.”
My cousin Jerome had said, “Let us clean some of the muck out of the house first.”

I don’t know that I would have listened to them, that I would have stayed away. There was nothing about Slidell on the TV; I saw very little on the internet. What was really going on down there? Just how bad could it be? I’m tough; I can handle it! After all, I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Morocco for two years! Yeah, right! A flu bug (viral infection of some sort) slowed me down. What about my important papers that I just organized this summer? What about the photos? Can my computers be saved? What about the hard drives? All my info! Is anything salvageable? Is Mac going to just throw everything away? I need to go! But my throat is killing me! Why am I having nightmares? I hardly ever dream. Then, I can’t go back to sleep. My ear hurts! My head hurts! What’s happening to me?

My son Christopher said, “Mom, I’ll go. I’ll get your computers, and I’ll search for your notebooks and pictures, and I’ll salvage whatever I can. Don’t you worry.
Take care of yourself.” The counselor said, “This is all normal after such a traumatic experience. Your immune system is weakened; the stress causes all kinds of reactions from the body. You’re not going crazy.”

Thank goodness! After finally receiving some antibiotics from good ole Dr. Garner, I felt much better within a day or two. I’m well rested; no more nightmares. It’s time to start doing something. They have already called to see if I can return to work on September 26; I’m not ready! I haven’t done anything yet! I need to go home! I need to see for myself! That’s the only way I can put some closure to this nightmare! I’ll ask for a sabbatical. No sabbaticals being given at this time?!?! Well, what are my options?

The Human Resources person said, “You can take a leave of absence without pay or show up for work on the 26th.”
“That’s it?”
“Or you can resign.”
Bitch! After thirty-three years of service, that’s all they can offer!! Resign? I can do better than that – I’ll retire!! Yeah!

What? Another hurricane in the Gulf? Rita. But it’s headed to Galveston, TX. I’m headed to Slidell.
My sister Urs said, “It’s 6:45. You told me to wake you up.”
My sister Gisele said, “You be careful on that highway.”
My brother-in-law Charles said, “Come back to Dallas; they’ll hire you in a minute.”

It’s Wednesday morning. It’s a beautiful day! I feel good! I’m going home! How about some classical music! Turn it up loud! Cruisin’ down I-20E to Shreveport; short visit with the in-laws. Nice to see Willie Mae, Maggie, Lisa, and Tisha. Gotsta go! Cruisin’ again – down I49S; then, I10E. I will go as far as Breaux Bridge today. Larry will go with me to Slidell tomorrow. My son and his wife Ty will meet us there. Chris and Ty, along with my financial planner, will help me make a big decision about the rest of my life.

It’s Thursday morning. It’s a beautiful day! I feel good, but a little apprehensive! I’m going home to Bayou Vincent. I thought Larry was riding with me, but he’s taking his truck. He might need some of his tools, etc. Along the interstate, again, I noticed trees down, signs torn up, but that’s about all the destruction you can really see. As we exited the highway, I drove very slowly because I’m starting to notice more than trees and signs: gas stations torn up; the roofs on many businesses; signs that read “Boil your water.”; debris from houses piled almost as high as the houses; and the trees – soooo many trees down; they have been cut just enough to clear the roads. We are approaching Bayou Liberty Road (Hwy.433) – half mile from my home in Bayou Vincent.

Make a right turn at the light. Oh my God!! I must be driving 5mph. I cannot believe what I am seeing: Debris as far as the eyes can see; on both sides of the road; in front of every house; on both sides; refrigerators, trees, carpet, more trees, furniture, more trees, junk, muck, pieces of sheetrock, big trees uprooted; on both sides of the road. It’s like a war zone!! It’s like driving between two walls of debris. You can hardly see the houses, just enormous piles of debris!! I can feel the tears begin to well in my eyes. Am I there yet? Where’s the driveway? Look at that pile in front of my house!! Look at my sofa! My chest-of-drawers! My frig! Oak trees uprooted! The cedar tree is gone! Park the car. I fall into the arms of my son and boo-hoo like a baby! I had to come! I had to see for myself!

There is no description that anyone can give to describe this devastation! There is no word in the English language that I know of to describe this horrendous scene! And this is three weeks after the storm!! Much clean-up has been done. The roads have been somewhat cleared! My brothers, my son, and my cousins have cleaned out the muck and gutted the walls! I cannot begin to imagine what it must have been like the day after.

My cousin Jerome said, “It reminded me of the game of “Pick up Sticks” where the sticks land on top of each other, in every direction. That’s the way the trees were up and down most of the roads and streets in Slidell.”

My cousin Freddy said, “The only thing I’ve seen worse than this is Vietnam.”
I enter my house and remember what used to be where. Books are still on the bookcases; pictures still hang on the walls; my dresser is still there; the drawers are gone. The floors have been stripped to the wood. There’s still some residue of the black mud (muck) that I heard about. There is still a trace of stale odor, but it’s tolerable. Outside the back door – the deck is fine! The tables are fine! The glass on the tables is fine! So many trees are missing! But the magnolias in the front yard stand straight and tall and proud – and beautiful!

What? Rita has turned more northward? It might hit southwest Louisiana? Oh no!
Another levee has broken in New Orleans? The 9th ward is flooding again!!
My sister Jean, who had to stay to work in a shelter during and after Katrina, said, “Y’all, we need to go! We need to evacuate! Rita’s coming! That water comes up so fast! We have to go!”
“But, Jean, I’m so tired of the highway! I just want to relax here on your couch, then go back to the house.”

It’s Friday morning, 6:00 A. M. It’s a beautiful day.
We’re on our way to Alabama, dodging Rita.

well it seems as though all is well... in houston. my family is a mess once again as far as slidell and new orleans is concerned. we just can't get a break, and hurricane season is not over. my mom went back to slidell right before rita hit to check out the damage. my brother and his wife traveled there from alabama to be supportive.

my mom said they all cried for hours, and that i would not even recognize the city of slidell. my mom is very intelligent. she has a degree in french and english... and was left speechless when i begged her to describe what she saw. one of my uncles told me that all of the trees looked like someone had spilled a box of toothpicks on the floor...

so now we have to deal with whatever damage was done to the already damaged areas. so many people are determined not to give up on louisiana. but my mom has decided to retire in dallas, and now has her own place...

i am fine. we loss power for awhile, alot of wind and rain. we sat on the balcony for most of the hurricane and just honored mother nature. i'll be back at work tomorrow bright and early.

until then..., FOOTBALL!!!

i am still in houston with plans to stay put. my family and friends have called to check on me, and encourage me to leave, but i refuse. it's good to know that i have so many people that care about me...

so my store was closed yesterday, and has been directed to remain closed thursady and friday, with no mention of saturday. of course the hurricane is scheduled to hit on saturday so it's probable that we will still be closed, maybe through the weekend. i could be pissed off about the loss of money, or celebrate the weekend off. Hmmm...

i have to admit that i am a little frustrated with my loved ones who keep calling to fuss about me staying. the pathway "cone" of rita encompasses all surrounding areas, so where exactly would i be going? my managers have been in contact with me so that i stay informed of their well-being, and one of them left this morning at 2am and is STILL in houston on the interstate...

my girlfriend, jennifer, is here with me. she evacuated from new orleans and will most likely become my roommate. we have stocked up on the necessities... cigarettes, beer, apple vodka, and oh yeah, ... water.

jennifer is sleeping peacefully and i am already doing work for the store. i suppose i could actually use this time off to clean my house and clear out the office for jennifer. maybe we'll hit a store or two, and see who's still open and what's left.

ugh.
everyone pissed me off today...
ungrateful, manipulative, passive-aggressive jackasses.

whew...
that feels much better.
thanks.

football tomorrow!

had a good night with some of my friends displaced from new orleans. these are the kind of people you love to be around just for the positive energy and laughter. they were some of the few able to get 2 weeks for free in a hotel room just for showing their louisiana id. they have decided to plant roots, at least for now, so apartment and job hunting have begun.

i am headed into work later on, but will enjoy my coffee and cigarettes until it is time to get ready to head out. i have volunteered to go to baton rouge next week and help with the grand opening of one of our stores at the mall of louisiana. there are no rooms available for the company to bring in other help, and i have family nearby that i can stay with. i love to travel, and the body shop seems to have no problems sending me where they need help.

my mom is still very depressed about the loss of everything in slidell. my aunt has sent her to a psychiatrist in dallas. i think it's helping, but i know that she blames herself for not having the foresight to grab generations of family photos and memorabilia. who in the hell had the foresight for the devestation of miss katrina?

my uncles, cousins, and brother have already started clearing, cleaning, and planning to rebuild. one of the 5 houses we lost was the house my grandfather built, and raised 13 children in. it was one of the only houses built on higher land in the area where so many of our extended family lived, and had 6-8ft. of water in the house...

we have the best family in the world. i realize that now more and more everyday. we lost everything in slidell, but we still have everyone. that's enough to make me smile everyday i think about any small amount of bullshit i encounter.

i woke up this morning ready to face whatever lay ahead... and got hit with some serious shit.

i made it to work and the front doors to the store would not unlock. i did not panic or get upset, because i had grabbed the extra set of keys. since i had arrived an hour early to catch up on the 6 days i was out of the store, it was an easy decision to go back home and grab my regular set of keys.

made it home, picked up my keys, jumped on the computer for a sec, and headed back to the store. the door did not unlock... i looked at the key numbers and realized that they were in fact the same, and that i had a larger problem on my hands.

i knew that i should call a lock smith, but i was now pissed that no one mentioned any problems with the door, and this shit would happen to me at 9am... well, i jiggled it, and strong armed it, and eventually opened it... it's 9:45am

so i clock-in... well i try to clock in, but my passcode is coming up invalid. what the fuck? i'm the store manager. if anyone should have a valid passcode, it's me, right? so i tried again, and again... finally decided to call the help desk and my management team. after 45 minutes of no fucking help from the help desk, my cell phone rings with information of my passcode being changed while i was in alabama.

now, one of my managers picked me up from the airport and i treated her to dinner... the other lives with me for the time that her family (from new orleans) is in her apartment. THEY WERE BOTH AWARE OF THE CHANGE, AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.

i opened my doors 10 minutes late. my first customer spoke no english and didn't want to play charades.

at 10:30am, the manager i am training for one of the new stores walks in ready with a shit load of questions and energy for days. she was scheduled for 11am... she knows it all, and made it clear that she had managed 2 stores twice the size of this one. Hmm...

when the closing manager walked in at 1pm, i walked out for about a half of an hour.

i cried. everything that had been festering inside of me exploded.

my first thought was that i needed some positive energy... so i called the person who i want to have a connection with on so many different levels, and felt stupid as soon as he answered the phone. there were so many things i wished he would have said, and he said none of them. why would he? i am an acquaintance... there's no foundation, no history.

i put the mask back on and headed into the store to finish my shift with all the positivity i could scrape up.

i am in anniston, alabama with my mom and brother. love my family... (my mom says hi, and thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.)

we are celebrating life and the blessing of family today.

most of my family left for higher ground, but some stayed... including my uncle mac, my mom's baby brother. this is the hurricane we have always talked about but never imagined would come in our lifetimes.

peace and blessings to everyone, within and without...

i am headed into my fourth day of nine straight, and it's becoming apparent that i am tired already. a rejuvenated energy is needed, so i have created this techno, drum & bass, jungle house music file (made especially for my new speakers!!!) to pump me up... BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM...

i am looking forward to this labor day weekend at my brother's house. we will have little league football, nfl football, fantasy football. we are obviously a football family, and i hear my beer is already on ice.

i purchased my airline ticket at the last minute because my funds were running on fumes (until i got paid yesterday). the tickets were priced at $468 this morning compared to $250 two weeks ago. needless to say, i was pissed off, but knew i had to buy it. can you believe i put in my own price of $250 on priceline.com and got it? yeah! the universe is sooooooooo good to me.

[question] have you ever had someone occupy your thoughts so much that it literally pissed you off? not necessarily because you didn't want to think about them, but because you knew that they were not as engrossed in you as you are them... Oooh!

yesterday was what i didn't want it to be... nothing but work. not much accomplished as far as my household cleaning, but how realistic was that? spent most of the day ping-ponging via econversation with my district manager. of course i had to check on my store, and then the other houston stores, and then the austin stores... blah, blah, blah.

so my brother called to let me know that my nephew, kairen, made boo-boo on the potty that his mom just purchased for him. kairen, being the little man that he is, carried the pot to the bathroom spilling his lovliness across the floor... great birth control, i swear.

so i am getting into this fantasy football league with my family and friends. i am more excited than i thought i could be, and everyone is so damned competitive... but it's all in good fun, and i need a release from the daily grind.

so i am off to work for the closing shift. this begins nine days straight at the galleria, but i am rested and ready.

oh, ... and my ex called me last night. WTF? it seems that he has released a great bit of anger, and wants to open up communication between us. glad that he's doing well, but we are two people on totally different paths... and i am not sacrificing any part of me for someone else's comfort level.